Update to yesterday

The good news is today has been much, much better. Truth be told nothing actually "happened" yesterday to cause things to be so bad but I'll try to recap just for my benefit.

It seems it all started Monday. A coworker of mine had been out of the office for two weeks so I was anticipating the conversation starter of them asking how baby and I were doing since he had been out when we were given this diagnosis. It was late in the day but it happened. All in all, I held it together pretty well and was actually able to chat with them for a bit about the situation.

Monday night we also had counseling. There were some issues I wanted to discuss with this particular counselor because he used to be a pastor and has been in the counseling field for many years since so he knows both sides. Since this has happened I've been having some issues with God. My issues mainly stem around things I've said or thought in the past coming back to haunt me later on. He presented things to me differently and I think I am coming to grips with how I process situations now.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning. Most of my office was never made aware of my pregnancy to start with because we do not work closely and I haven't been able to find my sign that says "I'm pregnant" to wear around the office. Then we received this diagnosis so I've been trying to figure out how to break the news without having to do it over and over because I could not have done that emotionally. This is where email became my long lost best friend. The entire team was very supportive and I'm grateful for that.

Finally, another lady in the office came to me to share that they had been praying for us in her church group. She pulled me away to tell me a very touching story regarding the decision we made to carry Megan Grace to term and of course this was the end of being able to tough anything out. I cried, cried, and cried some more. It felt good but it was hard to stop once I got started.

Long story short I guess I should not say yesterday was a "bad" day it was just filled with emotion from Monday afternoon until I made it to my JLG meeting last night. Those ladies are a support network in and of themselves even when they aren't trying and I'm so grateful for them.