We took an impromptu trip to the beach for a week for some much need R&R. The weather was really nice and we got to spend time with friends and family while getting away from life for a bit.
As you can see we took Tonka with us too. He has a blast anywhere there is a water :)
How are we doing?
We are doing much better than most people would expect us to be doing at this point. Sure there is not much time that passes each day where we are not thinking of our sweet little Megan Grace but that is fine with us. Our goal is not to forget her beautiful face or the joy she brought to our lives. In fact, I hope I never forget any of the memories we made as a family during her short time with us.
Most people who have not been here and do not know how this feels would probably expect that we spent a lot of time being sad, crying, etc. So far this has not been the case. This is not to say I do not totally lose it sometimes when the pain is so bad it is difficult to breathe or I do not get a little teary when something catches me off guard. It happens and will for years to come. This too we have to to accept as our "new normal".
This probably has a lot to do with the fact that we have known about this since March 13, 2009. We had time to accept she would not be raised by us but by God instead.
It also has a lot to do with the fact that with the help of others, we have managed to find some very special ways to preserve her memory. I'm still trying to figure out how to appropriately thank these people because what they have done to help us remember Megan Grace is something we will never truly be able to say thank you for no matter how many times we try. This was and still is very important to us.
Through this we have also been held up by our faith and through the hundreds if not thousands of people who have reached our in some form or fashion. The food, flowers, cards, phone calls, and emails have been amazing! It truly is a great feeling to know we have so many people thinking and praying for us during this difficult time. I've tried to thank each of your personally and let you know how much we appreciate it. If for some reason I missed someone please know that even the smallest things did not go unnoticed. Thank you!
This book review is a few weeks late in the making but I'm still trying to decide what to say about this book to the average reader. When I say average reader I mean someone who is not reading it because it deals with subject of OI.
My thought truly is that if you aren't reading it because of the OI subject matter it really is not a great book. It's long and it just ends. You have read 400+ pages of a book that just ends. I guess I do see the irony of the ending but it just made me mad.
Now, if you are reading the book because you know me or someone else who has had first hand experience with OI it really is a great book for sheer informational purposes. Truthfully, she did a great job researching the condition as well as many issues surrounding the condition and for that I appreciate her work.
It almost seems her writing style is more suited to Non Fiction because she does a great job of researching the topic at hand and writing about it in greatly accurate detail.
Would I recommend this book? The jury is still out on this one. I'd say yes for sure if you know me or someone else who has experience with OI in some way, shape, or form. If not, then I don't think I'd urge you to read it.
The day this book came out I reserved it at the library and have been waiting for a copy to become available ever since. Personally, I thought it was worth the wait. This woman has been dealt a lot of adversity in her life and has shouldered it all with great strength.
In the book, she spends a lot of time talking about her first born son Wade who was killed in a car accident back in 1996. Honestly, I thought she might not discuss this topic at length because she has faced so many other difficult life situations since then but she does and I was glad considering my own situation.
It was very interesting to read as she outlined how she grieved and how she feels now. Not long ago as I was watching her interview on the Today Show with Matt Lauer he questioned something she discusses in the book. At the time I thought it was inappropriate and today having now read the book and lost my own child it actually makes me mad that he asked the question at all especially in the tone that he did.
The discussion was with regard to how she handled Wade's "stuff" once he passed. The fact was she didn't. She left it as was. Matt Lauer took her to task during the interview asking whether that was an appropriate way of grieving. The answer: Yes, Mr. Lauer it is thankyouverymuch.
It left me wondering how he would feel that we are making somewhat of a memorial to Megan Grace in the room that would have been hers with all of her "stuff". It's comforting to me as I'm sure it was to Mrs. Edwards.
She does briefly touch on the affair, her battle with terminal cancer, and her faith. It seemed to me a lot of the book was about the loss of Wade but she uses that to discuss how that situation made it easier for her to overcome these other life changing situations.
Basically, she sums it up when she discusses her faith towards the middle of the book. Her belief is that God gave us life and the world we live in along with free will and it's up to us to "fix" things as we are able. My beliefs do not exactly jive with hers but I can appreciate her thoughts on the subject as I'm sure she has questioned her faith many times over the years.
All in all, this is a good book. It is inspirational even if you have never been in any of the situation. She also throws in a few anecdotes about her life prior to fame that relate to the book as well that make it an easy read. So easy that I read it in four hours while sitting in my garage "helping" Steve paint.
Enjoy!
We are pleased to announce the creation of the Megan Grace Lavinder Memorial Scholarship Fund.
Today I was able to talk to the President of the East Carolina Alumni Association. Everything is being setup right now for them to start receiving donations in memory of Megan Grace from anyone who wishes to contribute.
He said all anyone who wants to donate needs to do is send a check for any amount made out to:
East Carolina Alumni Association
Be sure to put on the memo line:
Megan Grace Lavinder Memorial Scholarship
This way at the end of the year they can total the amount donated in honor of Megan Grace and the full amount will be pooled to fund a scholarship for that amount to one student during a ceremony each April.
The address is:
East Carolina University
East Carolina Alumni Association
901 East Fifth Street
Greenville, NC 27858-4353
Steve and I do not expect anyone to do this but several people have asked what they can do to help and we felt this was the best way to honor her memory now and for years to come. Also, if anyone has questions please feel free to let us know.
Warm Regards,
Steve and Amber
The sun came up this morning and immediately as I opened my eyes I thought of you and wondered what you were doing in Heaven today. Daddy was in bed beside me and I just imagined the three of us cuddling together on what would have been our first morning home together only you aren't here. You are in a much better place however on days like today I just want to snuggle with you.
Since I couldn't hold you close this morning I went to your room and sat amongst your things. Your pictures are there and I just sit in amazement about how beautiful you are. Daddy and I are so proud to have brought such a strong, beautiful little girl into this world. The first time I saw you I was just overcome with this overwhelming feeling of pride. We are so proud of you.
Some people wouldn't agree but we still think you beat the odds. As the days came to a close, we were constantly told you might not survive to be born yet you were. It was one of my final requests. One of my other final requests was for Daddy to feel you move while you were in my belly and that prayer was answered not once but twice. He would not trade those moments for anything in the world and neither would I.
We both told you over and over again as we held you close that we did everything we could to make your stay here with us the best we could and we did. The love we have for you is one we share. It will never go away. We both take comfort in knowing you are completely healed now and are probably dancing with the other angels. Thinking of you smiling and dancing while watching over us is such a warm feeling.
We are proud of you Megan Grace. The love we have for you will never cease. Thank you for being part of our lives for the short time we were graced with your presence. It is a time in our life we will both cherish forever and never forget.
Love,
Mommy, Daddy, and Your Big Brother Tonka
