At the Front Door

This is what I found. Just a little token of hope sent down from above to comfort me as we move closer to Megan Grace's birthday.

Butterflies have always been a comfort for me, strangely enough, hence the name of my blog. Rarely though, do I actually see them and especially not ones as beautiful as this one, which was literally right outside my front door the other morning.

The emotions are coming easier and the anxiety is more frequent. Little reminders like this one that say "It will all be ok" are just what I need right now.

Mmmm Good

Strawberry Cobbler~It was not pretty but it was good!

Strawberries and Cool Whip

Inspiration

Lately as I've listened to the songs on the radio I've come across a few that speak to me as I continue down this path.

To name a few:

The Climb by Miley Cyrus (mentioned here)

Sissy's Song by Alan Jackson

No More Goodbyes by Rascal Flatts. The video for this song actual paints a much different picture than just the words alone. Very tricky :)

Along those same lines a blog reader had sent me a CD of wonderful songs back when we first received Megan Grace's diagnosis. It makes me cry every time but sometimes it helps just to get it all out.

When you couple this with my Faith, therapy, and the books I've been reading I really do feel like I'm continuing to prepare.

We will see how that pans out......

Dear Megan Grace,

Next month. Next month is the month we will get to meet you, hug you, kiss you, and hold you. It is also the month we will let you go to God if the doctors are correct.

Our time with you has flown by but hopefully we still have a few weeks to do a few more things with you during your time here with us. Daddy and I are planning on taking you to play golf soon since that is something he loves to do and wants to share it with you.

We both want you to know that we have loved you since before we ever found out about you and will be with you until you take your last breath. Never will we leave you be alone.

Last night, we talked in the middle of the night as we sometimes do. Mommy had a dream that for some reason we had left you all alone at the hospital and you had gone to Heaven before we got back. This is not going to happen and it upset Mommy very much to think we left you alone for even a minute.

We are not sure when you are going to arrive or how but we do know it will all be very bittersweet. The good news is that when you are in Heaven all your little bones will be fixed and you will be whole again. The bad news is our hearts will never be the same once you are gone. We will always love you forever and ever.

Thank for the time you have given us to enjoy your little personality Megan Grace. We can't wait to meet you in a few short weeks even if it is the hardest day of both our lives.

Love you,

Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother Tonka

*Picture to come*

How far along? 31 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: Over 30 pounds and counting :)

Maternity clothes? Yep.

Stretch marks? The ones that weren't on my belly before are multiplying but so far they still aren't on my belly thank goodness. Hopefully they stay where they are and continue to multiply instead of relocating to my belly region.

Sleep: It's going. Not great but not horrible either. It seems my dreams are haunting me now. More on that later.

Best moment this week: Getting the amnio behind me along with the glucose test and my Rhogam shot. Hopefully no more pain or needles until delivery!

Labor Signs: No, thank God.

Belly Button in or out? Still working on it.

What I miss: Not feeling large and in charge.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the results of our last set of maternity pictures this weekend. I'm still in love with the first set done by my friend Megan so I can't wait to see these.

Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy the food while you have an excuse no matter how many strange looks you get from your husband.

Milestones: I'll have to get back to you on this one this week.