Dear Megan Grace,

Next month. Next month is the month we will get to meet you, hug you, kiss you, and hold you. It is also the month we will let you go to God if the doctors are correct.

Our time with you has flown by but hopefully we still have a few weeks to do a few more things with you during your time here with us. Daddy and I are planning on taking you to play golf soon since that is something he loves to do and wants to share it with you.

We both want you to know that we have loved you since before we ever found out about you and will be with you until you take your last breath. Never will we leave you be alone.

Last night, we talked in the middle of the night as we sometimes do. Mommy had a dream that for some reason we had left you all alone at the hospital and you had gone to Heaven before we got back. This is not going to happen and it upset Mommy very much to think we left you alone for even a minute.

We are not sure when you are going to arrive or how but we do know it will all be very bittersweet. The good news is that when you are in Heaven all your little bones will be fixed and you will be whole again. The bad news is our hearts will never be the same once you are gone. We will always love you forever and ever.

Thank for the time you have given us to enjoy your little personality Megan Grace. We can't wait to meet you in a few short weeks even if it is the hardest day of both our lives.

Love you,

Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother Tonka

Dear Megan Grace,

Thank you for the sweet Mother's Day card you and Daddy gave to me yesterday! We enjoyed a wonderful day together and I'm glad we got to spend it with you this year during your short time with us.


The morning started off with Daddy giving me the card from the two of you after I had eaten breakfast. Then we all headed to the Mother's Day service at church. It was a very good and you even kicked a little so you must have enjoyed it as well.

The preacher discussed many things surrounding motherhood however there was one item that really made me think. He discussed making sure all Mom's show their children Faith not just by taking them to church on a regular basis but actually in practice each day.

This really hit home for me because each day that I wake up and go about my day I'm exhibiting my Faith for the plan God has in store for you. We do not know why he has chosen us to be your parents or why he wants to call you home shortly after you are born but we trust in His plan and that comforts us each day.

The pastor also talked about this in context of showing strength and grace vs. weakness and fear to our children. Before he ever got to the point of this portion of his sermon I knew where it was going because it is a topic I've thought about a lot since we have known about your condition.

For me personally (your Mom), it feels like I'm letting you down when I let my fear and weakness show because that means I'm straying from believing His plan for you. We never imagined we would be giving you back to God however he has a plan and we can't let our own selfish emotions get in the way of focusing on that for too long. The only way for us to "make sense" of the situation is to keep our focus on the big picture which is the plans he has for our family including you and that comforts me each day.

After church we headed home to pick up your big brother Tonka before going to another town to visit with family and eat some good food. It was a beautiful afternoon and everyone was glad to see us.

You are so loved Megan Grace and everyone is going to be sad to see you go to Heaven but please know we will never forget you. Once you get to Heaven you will be forever healed and all those little broken bones will be fixed. What a wonderful feeling!

Next Mother's Day will be bittersweet but we really enjoyed having you here with us yesterday. Thank you for coming into our life even for this short while because you have truly left a mark forever.

Love you,

Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother Tonka

Dear Megan Grace,

Hey little girl! Mommy, Daddy, and Tonka enjoyed our trip to the beach with you this weekend. The weather really could not have been better for such a special family trip.

On Friday, we started driving down since it is about a four hour trip and we were meeting your aunt, uncle, and two nephews at your great grandparents condo.

On the way down the funniest thing occurred. Mommy went into Chick Fil A to get dinner since you were hungry and really happen to love Chick Fil A.

While I was in there I went to the bathroom and as I walked in there were two little girls about 7ish with their pants down giggling in one of the stalls. It appeared they were trying to share the handicapped stall but could not decide who should go first. Ultimately, I think one of the little girl had to "go" rather badly so she won the battle.

Mommy just smiled and ducked into the stall next to them. While in the stall, I heard one of the little girls exclaim "ewwww, you've got poops and it stinks".

I'll say that Mommy and Daddy got a good laugh out of this. We also had to wonder for a minute if that is something you would be doing if you were going to be here in a few years. It was a very bittersweet moment but I just wanted you to know I think about you all the time when I see other little girls no matter how old they are and wonder what you will be like as you grow up in Heaven.

We love you very much Megan Grace and can't wait to meet you!

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, and your furry brother Tonka

Dear Megan Grace,

Today is your Daddy's birthday!! We won't tell everyone how old he is but let's just say he is getting very close to having a really big birthday in a few years :)

We are both so very glad to have you here with us this year to celebrate his birthday. Next year you will be watching down over us from Heaven and although we will miss having you here it will still be very special.

Daddy loves you very much and tells you goodnight each night before he goes to sleep. We are both very excited about your birthday this year although it is likely going to be both the happiest and saddest day of both of our lives.

We love you Megan Grace!!

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, and your Big Brother Tonka

Dear Megan Grace,

I've been thinking a lot about you since we found out about your condition on Friday. Each day since then I have hoped and prayed for you not to be in any pain. If you are in pain please know that Mommy is so sorry and you will be healed in a few short months.

The situation is very difficult right now because our choices are very limited. We feel like God gave you to us to take care of you until it is time to give you back. The issue with this is that we are not willing to let you go early so if you are in pain then it is because we have chosen to hold on to you until God is ready for you.

As you can see, we have had to make some difficult decisions regarding your care but it is all done out of our love for you.

On a lighter note, we did take you exploring in Baltimore this past weekend. We showed you the water, took you to the aquarium, and ate some really yummy food. We are even going to take you back next month because the doctors there are so wonderful and we want them to help us take care of you.

Also, I've been reading you all of those books. We have to left to read you. One is Curious George and one is Dr. Suess. I'm really excited to read them to you and to go to the library to get more.

Thank you for the kicks last night!

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother Tonka

Dear Megan Grace,

Today is a beautiful day! The sun is out and it is warmer than it has been. You see it seems like every day since we found out about your condition it has been rainy, cold, and just plain dreary. Those days are hard for anybody but they are especially hard for Mommy and Daddy because it is so gloomy outside.

As I write this I'm sitting on our back deck that I hope to get to show you looking out over the backyard that Daddy was just mowing a few minutes ago. Tonka is here beside me trying to get me to let him go chase the wildlife. He's a funny guy!

This morning I got up early and started washing clothes. You don't know this but Mommy loves washing clothes. Sometimes I look for things to wash just because I love it so much :)

After I washed a couple of loads of clothes and got "made up" for the day I hopped in the car with you and Tonka and went to visit the chicken farm. We try to get buy a lot of our food locally to support the local farmers. It's cheaper and they are such nice people!

Daddy went to play golf with your grandpa Willy and his friend while Mommy headed to the Bargain Box. The Bargain Box is a store where people drop off clothes and other items they don't want anymore and Junior League sells them for very cheap to the local community. This in turn allows JL to help out other community programs in the area. It's a great organization that Mommy has been involved in for over a year. The women in JL know all about you and they are praying hard that the doctors are wrong and that you are just going to be "little"

On the way home Mommy stopped at the library to pick up some books to read to you. Mommy loves the library and reading and hopefully she will get to share that with you once you are born but just in case I don't I'm going to read you as many books as I can now. Today I borrowed:

• I Can Read with My Eyes Shut by Dr. Suess
• Curious George and the Birthday Surprise
• Before I was your Mother
• All the Mamas
• Goodnight Moon
• The Daddies Boat
• Guess How Much I Love You

Megan Grace~there are so many people praying for you to come home with us and be our little "miracle". We don't know what the future holds but if that is not in His plan then we will enjoy each day with you until then. It's so fun to feel you roll and kick in my belly. I can't wait for Daddy to be able to feel it.

Love you,

Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother Tonka :)

Dear Megan Grace,

What wonderful news we have received in regards to you today! Mommy has been working on finding another doctor to look at your situation to figure out what exactly is wrong. The doctors here are wonderful however since you have such a special situation they do not know a lot about it.

Today we found out that the #1 hospital in the country which also has a special center for your diagnosis is willing to see us about you :) We are all so blessed to even have this opportunity!

As you know we found out on Friday the 13th some awful news about your condition. News that made Mommy and Daddy cry because you may not be with us long according to the doctors who saw us. This appointment is on Good Friday. What a wonderful day, a wonderful hospital, and hopefully God has a wonderful miracle in store for us all.

There are people all over the nation and maybe world for all we know praying for you. It has really been amazing to see how loved you are by those who don't even know you.

Megan Grace, we pray for you many times a day as do so many others. None of us know what the future holds but we are going to make sure we do everything we can for you while you are here with us.

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, and your Big Brother Tonka

Dear Megan Grace,

This morning I wanted to share with you a fun little fact about Mommy. You may think I'm a little strange but the truth is I really like getting mail. Yep, mail. Each day on the way home I look forward to two things 1) checking the mail to see what fun things have arrived 2) seeing Daddy and your big brother Tonka.

The reason I bring this up this morning is because yesterday when I arrived home there was a lot of mail and you know what? Most of it was for you! Since we found out that you are very sick we have gotten a few cards but yesterday not only did we receive a card in the mail for you we also received a book and a package from the String of Pearls organization.

In a way it was very sad to be receiving this mail for you because it acknowledges that you may not be with us long but on the other hand it makes me happy because each one of them will allow us to remember you in a special way.

The book came from Mommy's friend Jocelyn. You see Jocelyn just gave her little girl, Brianna, back to God a few months ago. Brianna was beautiful just like I'm sure you will be when you arrive. If you have to go back to God I find comfort in knowing that you and Brianna will dance in Heaven together and we will all see you both again one day. The title of the book is "Mommy, please don't cry: There are no tears in Heaven.

Megan, Mommy is just so proud of you already and we can't wait to meet you. So many people love you and pray for you each and every day just like Daddy and I. It's amazing to see how many people you have touched and you haven't even arrived yet!

Love,

Mommy and Daddy along with your big brother Tonka

Dear Megan,

I've been wanting to write this for you since we were given your diagnosis just a few short days ago. There are so many things we want to say to you, teach you, do with you before we have to give you back to God.

You are so loved by so many people already. Daddy and I remember the day so clearly we found out you were coming. It was the day before Thanksgiving and Mommy had been really sick but after many months of waiting for our turn we didn't think it could really be but it was! Ever since that day we have been planning for your arrival as well as all of the things we wanted to share with you.

You have a big brother named Tonka. He has fur, four legs, and a tail but you two would have gotten along just fine. I'm sure you have met. He cuddles up next to me on the couch each day and comforts me when I'm crying about having to lose you.

We were also going to take you with us to share with you our love for ECU and ECU football. One day maybe you could have been a cheerleader but instead you will be our cheerleader up in Heaven.

The day we found out you weren't going to be with us long we went down the Beaufort. It's such a beautiful place and you would love it. There are dolphins that swim through the channel and horses that roam the island. Such a free spirited place just like you Megan. You are such a strong fighter and you look just like your Daddy. In fact, he picked out your name a long time ago before we ever dreamed it would be so fitting for you.

Megan, we love you so much and we are going to do all we can to take care of you until God brings you home. Thank you so much for coming into our life, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Love you,

Mommy and Daddy