Intertwined

The past week and a half has been such a blur. It is so surreal to think my grandfather was here two weeks ago and now he is gone to be with Megan Grace.

Literally speaking, the loss of the two of them occurred at different times. Mentally speaking, the huge voids in my life are very much intertwined almost as if they happened simultaneously.

Countless times over the past week Megan Grace's name has been spoken. She was talked about so openly it was almost like she was here. Only she wasn't....or was she?

The last night of my grandfather's life we all gathered around him letting him know we loved him and that we would be fine if it was time for him to go. He continued to fight. It was gut wrenching to watch him as he clung to life for just a little bit longer. The hours ticked by and he was still hanging on.

All week I had wrestled with talking to him about Megan Grace. The words just wouldn't come. The fear of not knowing was he was going to say in his semi concious state kept me from saying what I knew I needed to say.

After we had tried everything we could to let him know it was fine to let go and he still didn't I went back to sit with him by myself.

As I sat there and rubbed his head, I very quietly told him to please go and take care of Megan Grace. With that, I kissed his head and walked out of the room after once again telling him I loved him.

A few short minutes later my grandmother went back in there and he was gone. Gone to take care of Megan Grace. Just like I asked him to do.

This story is the only comfort I have while dealing with all of the pain I'm dealing with right now. The comfort of knowing our daugther is in the arms of her great grandfather until we see her again.

Together

Late last night after many years of clinging to his health Megan Grace's great grandfather went to help take care of her. We had been by his side as he spent the week at home in the care of Hospice before he quietly slipped away from us.

We miss them both so much but are glad they are both together and no longer suffering. We love you MG and Papa!

Just In Case You Have Ever Considered

experimenting with potting soil on your white carpet I give you Exhibit A:

And Exhibit B:

of why it is generally not a very good idea. It could also lead you to spending part of your Sunday steam cleaning your carpet when it definitely was not on the agenda.

I'll report back when/if we are able to locate our white carpet again at some point.

Personal Space

Is something Tonka knows nothing about.......

Not Very Good At Speeches

I'd like to thank a certain faithful reader for bestowing this thoughtful award upon me yesterday. Awards are always welcome!



While some days I am definitely not Back in the Saddle most days I do manage to function in a manner very closely resembling normal. It is a rollercoaster that is for certain.



So it appears I need to pass this award along to some other deserving blogosphere "friends". First, I'll share the rules that come along with this honor.



Background: This award is given to bloggers that are "Back in the Saddle" of life. This may be someone who is undergoing medical treatments, restarting his/her life, resurfacing after a tragedy, or someone who is just trying to sport a new attitude. Recipients have an attitude of a fighter, strive to be a winner of the battle, and show determination.


Rules: Post the award's graphic, background, and rules on your blog. Explain how you are "Back in the Saddle" again, and then pass the award on to at least four other bloggers who are "Back in the Saddle" just like you. Make sure you let them know that they have been given this award, and ask them to pass it on.



Immediately upon brainstorming to figure out who I felt deserved this award I thought of two women I have been following very closely for a few months now because they know the pain of losing a child. Coincidently, they have both announced they are expecting again over the last few weeks. These two women have put their Faith on display for their readers to see day in and day out and for that I am thankful.



So without further delay.....



Angie and Stacy~Thank you for being an inspiration to so many women who know the pain of losing a child. Each of you have illustrated just how strong your Faith is through both your actions and your words. While the rest of us are wading through the depths of grief you are both there to inspire us to continue to pull ourselves out. I'm anxiously awaiting both of your new arrivals with much excitement. Congrats again!



There are also two more wonderful women I think are deserving of this award.



Jill~ Congrats on the new job! After many, many months of job searching you have landed a job that many will envy. Hopefully, with that monster of a new schedule you have you can find time to play with Holly and sleep :) Good luck!



and finally Zoot. A few months back I stumbled upon your blog through a friends blog. It is now one of my favorite reads. With all of the cards you have been dealt lately you have handled each one gracefully. Your blog has been a breath of fresh air because despite everything you continue to "take lemons and make lemonade". Keep up the good work!