A Father's Love

My Last Belly Pic

Today I was going through the pictures on my camera and found this one. There is no timestamp on it but if I had to guess it was taken less than 12 hours before Megan Grace was born. Truth be told it is probably less than 10 hours.

Steve's sister in law had come into town on Sunday afternoon to go through Megan Grace's things with me. She had made many scrapbooks for us to use to remember Megan Grace as well as a blessing ring on which to hang her cards. I'm going to post pictures of all of this stuff soon however pictures probably don't do them justice.

Once we had finished going through those things she asked what else I needed help with and there was just one thing I could think of at the time. For weeks our bags had been packed in the car because we knew our time was drawing to a close but one thing had been nagging me the entire time.

We had received many packages of things for Megan Grace and while they were all in the car they were somewhat unorganized and I didn't want Steve to have to organize them for me so I asked Emily to do it.

She placed all her jewelry in a box, all her clothes in Ziploc bag, all the momentos together, and her blankets all together before placing it all in one tote bag with my name on it. Then we asked her to put it by the laundry room door.

We took this picture not long after that. At some point the three of us had dinner and then hung our before I decided I was kind of uncomfortable and needed to go to bed.

And the rest is history.

The whole story amazes me because that last picture, getting that back packed, and having Emily here when my water broke could not have been planned to work out better than they did.

When my water broke I was asleep and I woke up screaming for Steve because as I said in the other post I did not know whether I was bleeding to death or my water had broken until I got to the bathroom.

At that point Steve, in a panic, went to wake up Emily who helped dress me and prepare me to get out the door while he showered and tried to get his bearings about what was about to take place. Emily also talked me through my contractions and helped calm me as best she could.

Every day when I think about how all of this played out I can't believe how perfectly everything fell into place even though it was a middle of the night emergency when Megan Grace decided it was time for her to grow her angel wings.

A Unique Flower

This morning I woke up to a very special email from another blogger. Isn't it beautiful?

The very first thing that popped into my mind once I saw it was how it speaks to how very special and unique Megan Grace was. She was one of a kind made for a bigger purpose by Him.

None of us know what that purpose was, however I know based on the people all across the world (literally) that I have received emails or blog comments from our little Megan Grace touched the lives of many during her short time here on Earth. Yet another reason we are so proud of our little girl :)

Dear Megan Grace,

The sun came up this morning and immediately as I opened my eyes I thought of you and wondered what you were doing in Heaven today. Daddy was in bed beside me and I just imagined the three of us cuddling together on what would have been our first morning home together only you aren't here. You are in a much better place however on days like today I just want to snuggle with you.

Since I couldn't hold you close this morning I went to your room and sat amongst your things. Your pictures are there and I just sit in amazement about how beautiful you are. Daddy and I are so proud to have brought such a strong, beautiful little girl into this world. The first time I saw you I was just overcome with this overwhelming feeling of pride. We are so proud of you.

Some people wouldn't agree but we still think you beat the odds. As the days came to a close, we were constantly told you might not survive to be born yet you were. It was one of my final requests. One of my other final requests was for Daddy to feel you move while you were in my belly and that prayer was answered not once but twice. He would not trade those moments for anything in the world and neither would I.

We both told you over and over again as we held you close that we did everything we could to make your stay here with us the best we could and we did. The love we have for you is one we share. It will never go away. We both take comfort in knowing you are completely healed now and are probably dancing with the other angels. Thinking of you smiling and dancing while watching over us is such a warm feeling.

We are proud of you Megan Grace. The love we have for you will never cease. Thank you for being part of our lives for the short time we were graced with your presence. It is a time in our life we will both cherish forever and never forget.

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, and Your Big Brother Tonka

Our Beautiful Little Angel

June 29, 2009

4:34 am

5 Pounds Even