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Saturday, April 4, 2009

23 Weeks ( a day early)

How far along? 23 weeks (tomorrow)!

Total weight gain/loss: At my last appointment I was up a total of 7 pounds. I've found that I have ridiculous cravings for ice cream, chocolate, chicken wings (random yes but this is by far the strongest one), and caffeine (which is limited).

Maternity clothes? Still the same situation as last week. On another related note though I want to say thank you to the many, many generous moms who have been willing to share their maternity clothes. In my closet right now there are a ridiculous amount of really cute clothes just waiting for me to get fat enough to wear them. See there is a good reason for the ice cream :)

Stretch marks? There are some but not on my belly thankfully :)

Sleep: Not going so well. Not so much because of the pain, stuffy nose, peeing, etc. Nope. This week a new addition has appeared. I'm assuming because of everything going on that my mind is races at night. During the day I guess I have more control over my thoughts but at night my mind just lets loose.

Best moment this week: Getting books to read to Megan Grace. It's going to be so much fun!

Movement: She is moving quite a bit today. Fun!

Gender: Our little girl, Megan Grace.

Labor Signs: No, thank God.

Belly Button in or out? Still in

What I miss: Not being thirsty all.the.time and drinking as much caffeine as I want.

What I am looking forward to: Buying the blocks for my maternity pictures and finding Megan Grace a nice soft Minky blanket.

Weekly Wisdom: Try and enjoy each day of your pregnancy, children, life etc. because you never know what tomorrow holds.

Milestones: Making it to 23 weeks with my little girl just rolling around in there :)

P.S. I'm adding pictures of weeks 2o, 21, and 23 tomorrow so stay tuned :)

Dear Megan Grace,

Today is a beautiful day! The sun is out and it is warmer than it has been. You see it seems like every day since we found out about your condition it has been rainy, cold, and just plain dreary. Those days are hard for anybody but they are especially hard for Mommy and Daddy because it is so gloomy outside.

As I write this I'm sitting on our back deck that I hope to get to show you looking out over the backyard that Daddy was just mowing a few minutes ago. Tonka is here beside me trying to get me to let him go chase the wildlife. He's a funny guy!

This morning I got up early and started washing clothes. You don't know this but Mommy loves washing clothes. Sometimes I look for things to wash just because I love it so much :)

After I washed a couple of loads of clothes and got "made up" for the day I hopped in the car with you and Tonka and went to visit the chicken farm. We try to get buy a lot of our food locally to support the local farmers. It's cheaper and they are such nice people!

Daddy went to play golf with your grandpa Willy and his friend while Mommy headed to the Bargain Box. The Bargain Box is a store where people drop off clothes and other items they don't want anymore and Junior League sells them for very cheap to the local community. This in turn allows JL to help out other community programs in the area. It's a great organization that Mommy has been involved in for over a year. The women in JL know all about you and they are praying hard that the doctors are wrong and that you are just going to be "little"

On the way home Mommy stopped at the library to pick up some books to read to you. Mommy loves the library and reading and hopefully she will get to share that with you once you are born but just in case I don't I'm going to read you as many books as I can now. Today I borrowed:

  • I Can Read with My Eyes Shut by Dr. Suess
  • Curious George and the Birthday Surprise
  • Before I was your Mother
  • All the Mamas
  • Goodnight Moon
  • The Daddies Boat
  • Guess How Much I Love You

Megan Grace~there are so many people praying for you to come home with us and be our little "miracle". We don't know what the future holds but if that is not in His plan then we will enjoy each day with you until then. It's so fun to feel you roll and kick in my belly. I can't wait for Daddy to be able to feel it.

Love you,

Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother Tonka :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Growing Stronger

This is something I've been thinking about over the last few weeks but I'm still not sure I can put it into words. I'm going to try though because it has been hanging around waiting to be written.

While there is no part of me that is glad we are going through this difficult situation we are currently facing I'm not eternally sad either.

Through this experience I've already learned so much about myself, life, etc. that I never imagined learning. It's like a whole new world.

As I've mentioned before I had been following a few blogs but one in particular about a woman who did exactly as I'm doing right now and carried her little boy Isaac to term knowing he likely would not survive. As I read through her blog every so often I did so with amazement at her strength and grace.

Now as I literally walk in her shoes I still marvel at her strength and grace however I also see the hope with which she views the future. It's this wonderful feeling of hope even when you are in the pit of doom that makes you smile each day.

All of this brings me to another point. I've learned a lot about other people in my life since this happened. We haven't even gotten to the difficult parts yet if the doctors are correct and I can already see who I want to keep in "my circle" and who will be "cast off the island" so to speak.

One portion of this pie was already addressed in another post about how wonderful it makes me feel when people can act normal around me. This is a life changing event the last thing I need those I care about to do is turn into "strangers".

More important than this though is I really only see myself being supported by those who can be strong and hopeful no matter what the outcome of the situation. Yes, I will have bad days but even on those days I want to be supported by those who want to help pull me out of "the black hole" and into the light of the future.

It will not help me to surround myself by those filled with sorrow examining how "bad" the situation is in their eyes because truthfully this benefits only those around us who want to focus on the negative.

Anyway, I'm not sure where I was going with this but I guess the point was more to say I'm going to let myself be sad for some period of time but after that I'm going to start picking up the pieces and setting sail for the future. I'm thrilled for those that join me but won't be looking back for those left behind still reveling in "how sad" our situation is because that is not how I want to live the rest of my life.

Will you dance with me?

A good friend of mine sent this to me this morning and it has always been a good reminder but hopefully for me this is going to start to be more of a lifestyle change going forward.

"Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husbands didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour? She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get our toddler toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord..

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now....go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butter fly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ' How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift.....Thrown away..... Life is not a race Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"

One year in our beautiful home!

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of when we closed on our beautiful home. We have done a few things but still have quite a few things we want to do in the future.

It's funny I've only owned two homes in my life and I closed on both of them on March 31st. At this point I think I'll have to make it a point to keep this tradition if we ever buy another home.

Yesterday, was a fairly nice day but last year it was not. It was rainy and freezing cold. We like to torture ourselves. We had to be out of our apartment and close on our new house on the same day which also meant moving ALL of our stuff in one day. Never again. There is no way it could have been done without all of the help we received 0ver the course of that long and very nasty day.

I'd link this post back to my post about the house if I knew how to do that the fancy way but I don't. Does anyone care to learn me?